(This article was originally published in Brainz Magazine on June 27, 2023)
The Power of Presence
Rarely a day goes by when we are not inundated with distractions, notifications, and endless things to do and think about. With a multitude of demands and diversions jostling for our attention, it’s challenging to be fully present in the moment. In fact, the average person is not present 47% of the time, according to a 2010 Harvard study. As a result, many of us pay very little attention to our presence. Yet, it is only when we are psychologically present that we can apply the full potential and power of presence and experience the depth and joy of life.
Presence increases our connection with ourselves and others, which is much needed in our age of disconnection and loneliness, and leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships. Presence is associated with increased happiness and health, higher intrinsic motivation, greater creativity, better emotional regulation and ability to manage challenging emotions like fear, anger and anxiety, less stress, greater efficiency and effectiveness, and a greater sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
But perhaps most importantly, the power of presence lies in the ability to find joy and fulfillment, now. When we are fully present and engaged, we are able to appreciate the beauty and wonder of life, even in the small things. This leads to a greater sense of wellbeing, equanimity, and enjoyment.
Simple But Not Easy
Being present, or presence, is not just a popular phrase, it is a way of living that is backed up by good science. It means being consciously aware (mindful) and engaged in whatever is happening, both externally in the world around us and internally in the form of our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. Presence means we are not distracted by ruminations on the past or worries about the future, we are centred in the here and now with our full attention focused on the present moment.
We all know the opposite state of presence: mindless autopilot, where we move through the day performing tasks without paying full attention to them. We forget where we left our keys, anguish over a deadline, think about our second meeting while we're still in the first one, miss part of a conversation through preoccupation with our phone, or walk around in a semi-conscious state, a blur, a daze, physically here, but mentally elsewhere and so miss details, signs, and opportunities.
However, it is in the conscious state of presence that we are most aware, engaged, and connected. We are more effective and able to make wise and compassionate decisions. We can better draw from our inner resources of focus, resilience, creativity, executive thinking, and intuition, and we have a greater capacity for wellbeing, emotional processing, self-regulation, and self-mastery.
What Exactly Is Presence?
Have you noticed that your presence never leaves you? Unlike everything else that comes and goes in life - thoughts, emotions, sensations, life circumstances, events, people, situations, objects are all transitory, but presence is perennial and does not come and go. Presence is the unchanging background upon which our life, experiences and all other change appears.
We cannot be without presence. Presence is fundamental to who we are, our primary state of being, without which we would not exist. We can only be unconscious of our presence, absent minded. We are always present we just don’t always realise that we are.
Similarly, the present moment, or now, is the only moment there is. Everything happens now. Everything we do, think, feel, or know happens now. It is never not now. There is no past or future we can visit other than mentally in our time-travelling thoughts as they jump between memories of the past and imaginations of the future. But, even when we think about the past or the future, we do it now, in the present moment.
To be present is a choice, an intention to be alert and bring your full attention to the moment to be intimately one with your experience, fully engaged and focused on the task, or situation at hand, free of preoccupations with anything that is not happening now.
Presence and Stress
Almost half our waking life we are thinking about something other than what we are doing or what is happening right here, now. This is so normal we don’t even notice it. We ignore the present moment and our presence in favour of thinking. We tend to think about instead of actually experiencing much of our life. Thinking is essential and very important, of course, but thinking can never replace action. It is always better to do something (including thinking) with your mind entirely focused on the job. And how many of us have the power and presence of mind to stop thinking when it is not required?
This lack of presence awareness typically makes us unhappy because compulsive, unconscious thinking tends to focus on our problems, worries, stressors, irritations, regrets, guilts, etc, which directly impacts our state of mind and mood. This constant thinking makes it impossible to fully enjoy a nice meal, a walk, a conversation, or a lovely view. We overthink beyond what is useful and rarely stop to notice that much of our stress and anxiety is a result of our thinking, while the present moment is usually free of problems.
Stress and overwhelm disconnects us even more from our presence as our fear-based, survival brain kicks in and hijacks our attention. We feel compelled to do something or ruminate about our stressors in an unconscious attempt to avoid the overwhelming feelings, and so the lack of presence and stress builds.
But I’m Too Busy to Be Present
Many people think they are too busy, are too distracted to be present, or are afraid of what they might feel, and so view the now only as a means to some future end, a steppingstone on their way to achieving a future goal. While this constant striving for the next thing, focus on the future and multitasking can feel productive, it is stressful and exhausting, life can quickly pass you by, and all this busyness and overthinking can become a habit that is hard to break.
Some see presence as a luxury, an ineffectual state of laziness, self-indulgence, or unproductivity. But being present doesn’t preclude thinking or getting things done, it enables you to be more effective as you are more conscious of and deliberate about what you are thinking (e.g., brainstorming, or creative thinking time) or doing, you can eliminate distractions and calmly engage your full brain power and executive thinking as you do.
Tips to Practice Presence
Here are 7 tips to cultivate presence and inner calm in your daily life. As little as 5 mins of practice a day can start to make a difference.
1. Set an intention to be present. When we start with an intention of presence, we are much clearer, calmer and more effective in our thinking and doing.
2. Reduce distractions. Turn off notifications and give yourself permission to fully attend to the present moment and your presence in it.
3. Stop multitasking. Do one thing at a time. Take a centring breath and start and complete your next task with your full presence, attention and brain power.
4. Pause between tasks to wake up from the daze of autopilot, come to your senses and be here now. It only takes a few moments to pause. Take some conscious breaths. Notice where you are. What is happening around you? What do you see, hear, feel, smell, taste? How do you feel?
5. Turn everyday activities into opportunities to practice presence. Do this while you wait for things or as you go about routine activities like showering, driving, eating, walking or washing up. Be more conscious of your experience instead of thinking about it or something else. It doesn’t take very long to come back to presence, your calm, present centre.
6. Get out of your mind and come back to the present moment via an anchor to presence, such as your breath, your 5 senses or the sensations of aliveness in your body. These anchors happen in real-time, so you can give your full attention to them and reconnect with the present moment and your presence. Take some conscious breaths, listen to the sounds you can hear, feel the contact your body makes with your clothes, the chair, or the floor or ground beneath you. Look around. Notice that you are witnessing this moment, not ruled by it.
7. The most important step is to recognise, be aware of and live from your presence: consciously witnessing the experience of each moment. If you can do this, the previous steps are not required.
Other options include meditation practice, yoga, mindful walking especially in nature which has a calming influence on your brain and body. In all cases, don't force it, keep practicing, we often have hard-worn habits of (over)thinking and busyness to gently and gradually rewire. Yet, presence is our most natural state and what we practice gets stronger.
References
1. Drake, L., Duncan, E., Sutherland, F., Abernethy, C., & Henry, C. (2008). Time perspective and correlates of wellbeing. Time & Society, 17(1), 47–61.
2. Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 125–143.
3. Greeson, Jeffrey & Brantley, Jeffrey. (2009). Mindfulness and Anxiety Disorders: Developing a Wise Relationship with the Inner Experience of Fear.
4. Grossman P, Niemann L, Schmidt S, Walach H. (2004). Mindfulness-based stress reduction and health benefits. A meta-analysis. J Psychosom Res. 2004 Jul;57(1):35-43.
5. Baer RA, Smith GT, Hopkins J, Krietemeyer J, Toney L. (2006) Using self-report assessment methods to explore facets of mindfulness. Assessment. 2006 Mar;13(1):27-45.
6. Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822–848.
7. Cardaciotto L, Herbert JD, Forman EM, Moitra E, Farrow V. (2008). The assessment of present-moment awareness and acceptance: the Philadelphia Mindfulness Scale. Assessment. 2008 Jun;15(2):204-23.
8. Feldman, G., Hayes, A., Kumar, S., Greeson, J., & Laurenceau, J.-P. (2007). Mindfulness and emotion regulation: The development and initial validation of the Cognitive and Affective Mindfulness Scale-Revised (CMS-R). Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 29(3), 177–190.
9. Matthew A. Killingsworth Daniel T. Gilbert, A. (2010). Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind. Science3 30, 932-932(2010).