The number one thing you can do to manage stress and build resilience is manage your attention. You can think of mindfulness as putting your mind at ease by controlling the focus of your attention. Like training a puppy to sit, you are training your attention to focus on what you choose and let go of the rest.
Mindfulness is not about stopping thoughts; it is about relaxing your body and mind and focusing your attention on one thing (an anchor to the present moment) so that your mind and thoughts naturally calm down.
Left unchecked and untrained, your mind, specifically your attention, can be easily distracted by incessant thinking, planning, imagining, remembering, judging, interpreting, analysing, criticising, assuming, expecting, resisting, craving, etc, everything but being present. Your attention can easily get caught up and lost in thoughts. This is not personal; this is the nature of human minds. But overthinking and overworrying creates inner turmoil and tension i.e. stress.
As Eckhart Tolle says, stress is being here but wanting to be there.
We can’t control what happens in life, we can only control how we respond to what happens, through our thoughts, emotions and actions. The best we can do is not resist what happens, in other words accept that we can’t control what happens and thus accept what is or if we can’t do that, accept how we feel about what happens and let go of any inner stress caused by wanting things to be different to how they actually are.
Mindfulness is being aware of what is, internally and externally, without judgment.
Mindfulness shows us that it’s not what happens, it’s how we think and feel about what happens that creates much of our stress. The practice teaches us to let go of thinking (eg unhelpful thinking) and come back to our anchor to the present moment (free of thought). Regular practice allows us to respond to life’s stressors as we choose, instead of reacting emotionally or on autopilot or in ways we later regret.
Mindfulness and other meditative techniques shift our attention from thinking to observing, that is sensing, feeling, seeing, hearing, being present without thought. The techniques are simple but NOT EASY (because the mind is used to being busy!) and it takes practice to build the skill/muscle. What we practice, however, gets stronger.
Why would we want to be mindful? Because we are much more than the thoughts in our head and the emotions they trigger. And because, to access our calm, relaxed, clear, aware centre (our natural state), we must be present.
Research shows that 5 minutes a day of formal or informal mindfulness is beneficial to our mind and body, allowing us to reset and take wiser and more skilful action from our calm centre rather than react from survival/busy/stress/anxious mode.
“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” Job Kabat Zinn
Artist unknown. Thumbnail image by Anthony Tran
