Common Misconception: Meditation Means Emptying the Mind
The most common challenge I hear from clients and students is that they can’t quiet their mind or get rid of thoughts. And, thus, they believe they can’t meditate or feel they fail at it. This belief and feeling is based on the myth that the goal of meditation is to empty the mind of thoughts, to stop thinking altogether. So, a mind full of thoughts must be a failed meditation.
Busting the Myth: Thoughts Are Natural in Meditation
If you’ve ever tried to meditate, you may know how difficult it can be to cope with and manage the nonstop chatter in your mind. Thoughts can flood in like a river, pulling your attention every which way. And often without you even realising it is happening … until you start to meditate!
Rest assured, the goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts or achieve a perfectly still and clear mind (although this can be an unintended and blissful benefit of the practice). Having thoughts, no matter how many, during a meditation is not a problem or failed meditation. Having thoughts is a natural part of meditation, just like clouds are a part of the sky.
Thoughts are part of the meditation. The goal is not to get rid of your thoughts but to be more aware of them.
How to Change Your Relationship to Thoughts During Meditation
Instead of fighting with or trying to control your thoughts, the best way to meditate is to change how you relate to them. This means stepping back and observing your thoughts with curiosity and impartiality. Thoughts aren’t necessarily facts! Many of them are involuntarily (have you noticed?), and you don’t have to believe, identify with or follow every thought that crosses your mind. Rather than getting caught in endless thinking it’s possible to shift into witnessing thoughts. This shift can transform meditation from struggle into peace.
Meditation Analogy: Thoughts Like Clouds in the Sky
Just as clouds naturally drift across the sky without changing its vast openness, thoughts naturally arise and pass through your mind without disrupting the calm, self-aware being that you are and that witnesses thoughts.
The sky doesn’t try or need to stop the clouds; it simply remains open and spacious, being the unchanging space in which clouds come and go. Similarly, meditation is about allowing thoughts to come and go by remaining open and curious and revealing the ever-present and peaceful awareness behind thoughts, and within which they come and go.
Including Thoughts in Your Meditation Practice
Rather than trying to eliminate thoughts, it is better to include thoughts in your meditation by allowing them to be there and being curious to notice them. This is a powerful and profound shift that cannot be understated. When you begin to observe your thoughts with curiosity you open yourself to:
· the ability to be more discerning and deliberate about which thoughts you pay attention to and which ones you let go of (same goes for anything that demands your attention), which means you are not so pushed or pulled away from your focus.
· the opportunity to learn about the patterns and habits of your mind, particularly unconscious thinking, that is, where your mind goes when you are on autopilot (super helpful in managing your mental health).
· the realisation that you don’t need thoughts to go away to feel calm, that is to feel the ever-present and unchanging peace of your being, the essence from which thoughts emerge and into which they disappear (bringing us to the unintended and blissful realisation of awareness free of thought).
The Awakening Moment: Realising You Are Not Your Thoughts
The moment you realise you are not present and have become lost in thinking, you are present once again. This awakening moment is something to celebrate! Why? Because you re-awaken to your presence, your being, here, now. Often called your true nature or your essential self. You move out of mental time travel and back to the present moment, and in doing so you also reclaim the ability to resource yourself by tapping into your inner source of peace, clarity, insight, compassion, strength, resilience, confidence, love, curiosity, connectedness and more. These qualities don’t come from outside of you, they come from within you, from your being, your centre.
This is the potential of meditation, to reconnect with yourself, to no longer be at the mercy of your mind and thoughts pulling and psyching you in all directions, back to come back to your innately and changelessly calm, clear, aware centre that always lies beneath, between and behind your thoughts.
Strengthening Your Mental Muscle: The Practice of Returning Focus
Realising your mind has wandered IS the meditation. Here lies the possibility to realise that you are not your thoughts (technically speaking, not only your thoughts), you have thoughts, you are much more than your thoughts. You are the self-aware being that observes and knows your thoughts. Thus, you can pause, notice where it is your mind wandered off to, and then gently, without judging or criticising yourself, usher your mind back to your anchor.
Just like bicep curls for your brain, this is how you build mental muscle. It doesn’t matter how many times your mind wanders during a meditation, all the matters is that at some point you grab the opportunity to catch it, to pause, and when you’re ready kindly bring it back to your anchor point. Each time you do this you strengthen the mental muscle of attention and grow in self-awareness and control.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with thinking, we need to think, thinking is crucial. It’s when thinking goes unnoticed that it can become a problem.
Thoughts Are a Natural Part of Meditation
Thoughts are not the enemy or a sign of a failed meditation, they are a natural part of all meditation as they are part of being human and the natural workings of a human mind. Trying to silence or get rid of thoughts only creates tension and frustration. Neuroscience is revealing that many thoughts are preverbal sensations and feelings that can’t simply be “turned off.” Like clouds drifting across the sky, thoughts naturally arise and pass through the mind (many without our choosing). Meditation teaches us to observe them impartially, without identifying with or reacting to every thought.
The Key Shift: From Fighting Thoughts to Observing Them
Rather than battling with your mental chatter, meditation invites you to gently notice your thoughts, label them if that helps (something like “planning”, “worrying”, “remembering”), before letting them go. This creates space between you, your awareness and the constant stream (or river!) of thinking. In this space is your innate calmness, perspective, and the ability to respond to life with greater wisdom and compassion.
Scientific Insights on Thought and Awareness
Neuroscience shows that many of our thoughts aren’t even words or images, they’re preverbal sensations or feelings that arise beneath the surface. In other words, unconscious brain activity shapes thoughts before we even notice them. Meditation aligns with this by encouraging curiosity rather than resistance or identification. Welcome thoughts, even thank them, as impermanent mental events rather than permanent truths or reality! At best they are simulation of reality. At worst they are biased, untrue or limited in their perspective. Observing thoughts reveals that they are temporary, sometimes revealing patterns of unconscious thinking that had previously gone unnoticed.
Practical Tips for Working with Thoughts
• Anchor your attention on your breath, bodily sensations or the sounds you can hear.
• Label thoughts gently without engaging with or judging them.
• When your mind wanders, kindly bring your focus back—no matter how many times it wanders off.
• Thank your mind for the thoughts before returning to your meditation focus.
• Start with short sessions and cultivate patience and kindness toward yourself.
Each time you notice your attention has drifted is an awakening moment—an opportunity to practice bringing your focus back with compassion. This is such an important part of meditation practise. In many ways it is the meditation practice. As part of the point or benefit of meditation is to learn to observe your mind and however many thoughts flow through it, and to learn to disengage and let go of thoughts when you choose to.
The Real Gold: Transforming Your Relationship with Your Inner World
Meditation isn’t about achieving a blank mind, but about learning to witness your thoughts from your calm, clear, present and aware centre. This is the peaceful awareness that remains constant and unchanging regardless of mental noise, busy-ness or activity. By realising you are the observer, not the thoughts themselves, you can rest in your innate calmness that isn’t disturbed by mental, emotional or physical activity.
Conclusion: Cultivating Peace and Clarity Beyond Meditation
Meditation changes how you relate to thoughts, fostering calm, insight, and emotional freedom that carry through into everyday life. By learning to observe thoughts without attachment or aversion, you build skills that help you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and clarity.
You don’t have to make yourself calm, only remember to connect to the calm that is already and always within you. Similarly, you don’t have to stop thoughts, only recognise the thought-free awareness that witnesses and knows your thoughts.
Thoughts?